I had to put this....

"LEBANON INVADING ISRAEL"

Olmert was sitting in his office wondering how to invade Lebanon when
his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Olmert!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Abul Abed,
down at the tea house in Beirut! I am callin` to tell ya dat we are
officially declaring war on you, yes you!"

"Well" Olmert replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your
army?"

"Right now," said Abul Abed, after a moments calculation "there is
myself, my cousin Mustafa, me next-door-neighbor Abou khaled, and the
whole team from the tea house. That makes eight!"

Olmert paused. "I must tell you Abul Abed, that I have one million men
in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Holy jeez," said Abul Abed. "I`ll have to call ya back!" Sure enough,
the next day, Abul Abed called again. "Mr. Olmert, the war is still on!
We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Abul Abed?", Olmert asked. "Well sir,
we have two Mercedes 180, and a truck."

Olmert sighed. "I must tell you Abul Abed, that I have 16,000 tanks and
14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I`ve increased my army to one
and a half million since we last spoke."

"Ya lateef", said A Abul Abed, "I`ll be getting back to ya." Sure
enough, Abul Abed rang again the next day. "Mr. Olmert , the war is
still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We modified a
helicopter with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four more
neighbors have joined us as well!"

Olmert was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you
Abul Abed that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
sites. And since we last spoke, I`ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Lah lah lah lah," said Abul Abed, "I`ll have to call you back."

Sure enough, Abul Abed called again the next day. "Olmert I am sorry to
have to tell you dat we have had to call off this war."
"I`m sorry to hear that" said Olmert. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well, sir," said Abul Abed, "we`ve all sat ourselves down and had a
long chat, and come to realize that there's no way we can feed two
million prisoners."

LEBANESE CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!